Pattaya Stories

It's just weird, that by the age of 14 there are still "Boys and Girls wars".
Now-days, you can't even talk to a girl without going out with her.
or the opposite. You have to find a Human from the opposite sex that agrees with you: All other kids are still mentally in year 1 or 2, except us two.

Now, what's really annoying, that when you do, all the others: boys and girls will start all the "you're going out with her" thing.

Now, sometimes it seems that I'm the only one that doesn't care if I'm talking to the opposite sex.
Even the Girls that do agree with me, all you have to do to see what they really think is to say:
"People say we're going out together..."

then the next thing will happen:
The girl infront of you will start acting like she's chocking, she'll get up and make it looks like she's going to throw up. she'll start making weird noises, sometimes they also put their finger infront of your face and say: "just a second... I gotta calm down..."
possibly, "Eeewww" sounds are very common in that situation as well.

Now that's nice, thank you my friend.
I always knew you feel that way about me.

Today for example, 2 twins in my age got into the school bus.
the only place left was infront of me and my friend.
Both the twins started spinning around and around, looking for a place to sit in... You know, just like a dog before going to sleep.
they looked at the sit infront of us, and... Kept going.
I tried not to laugh, it was just so amusing, two girl so scared from two guys... At the end they had no choice.

and had a sit right infront of us.
freaks... -_-'

It's not very common, but interesting to see for some people.
I am not one of these people.

There are organized trips to very isolated villages in Thailand.
some people like to go there, but not me.

Some people like it, some people not - but when you get there, you're treated like... You're treated weird.

because we [anyone not from the isolated village] look very different from what they're [the people from the village] used to, they can be a little weird.

once upon a time, in a land far far away [Thailand duh...] me and my family went to one of those trips to see isolated people in an isolated village. At first I thought it would be quite interesting to see, but as soon as I got out of the car I felt a little weird.


Do you know this feeling when some-one is looking at you? Now imagine that times the people in the village.

at that day a few interesting things happened.
I went to buy a drink, then the shop keeper looked at me [he was about 10-12] and ran away. His mom, I presume, came in with a baby in her hands, it was ok till the baby saw me, then he started crying.
Seriously, I don't look that bad! Really!

Then after a while, a girl about my age came to me and offered a wooden frog for sale.
I refused, so she asked my sister to ask me if I'd marry her. I refused, again.

After that, we went to see a little temple, and a kid, maybe even older than me in a few years started to follow us. I turned to look at him, hoping that he'll run away, but he was too curious and he kept following us. I cam to him and asked nicely:
"Could you please stop following us? It's very disturbing."
He looked at me for a few seconds, and I dunno if he understood me, but it looked like he got outta there as fast as he could.

Then we went to see the chief of the village. There was a chief male and a chief female. They both were really old, and had red teeth. The female chief had a really long neck supported by golden [yeah right, probably faked] rings.
The guy who came with us, told us that if the Female chief took the rings off - SHE'LL DIE!!!

I really wanted to see it, but I didn't say a thing. Instead both chiefs prepared a ridiculous dance involving eating a plant that'll make you're teeth red and gross. I refused of course, but it looked that the chiefs are having a good fun.

After that we were supposed to go see a special show about monkeys dancing with the villagers, when I heard that this is our next stop I gave up, went back to the car and waited there till the show ended and we finally could go back to the hotel.

It started ok, a few years ago, a bit after the internet was introduced.
It started like this: =) =O =] ;-) etc...
It became more complicated when ICQ and MSN were introduced, with more realistic smilies...
Today it's horrible. You try to talk to people in MSN and you can't understand a thing!
It's like they cut the letters out of a news paper and stick it on your screen!
and it's even worse if you got slow internet, because you never get to see the "special" smilies:

-Hey, what's up?
--n[ ] w[ ]t [ ]ut [ ]u?
-What?
--[] s[ ]d n[ ] w[ ]ut [ ]u?

It can get worse though, if your internet is fast enough, and the person you're talking to is using 85x85 animated GIFs, you get the situation that there are Star-Wars characters doing stuff that is 18+ on your screen, and then ING.

fortunately, there are still some normal people, that write with no emoticons, and in the worst case, they'll use =] =[ =0...

So... I like just hanging in malls with friends.
But there's a very disturbing thing called Lady-Boys, it's very common.
as you probably guessed, It's a Male that turned himself to a female.
In Thailand for some reason, there are lots of Gays and Lady-Boys.
I really don't care about Gays and Lady-Boys, but for god sake, leave me alone!

you see, there are two kinds of Lady-Boys:
-The "dirty" Lady-Boys
-The "Normal" Lady-Boys

now, the dirty kind sits all day in the bar, waiting for a 79 years old man, to come and take them home. It works like this:

the man's part is to give money, more money, MORE MONEY!
and the Lady-Boy's part is to provide non-stop sex.

now I know I'm only 14, and I shouldn't be talking like this, but.. C'mon, I live in Pattaya!

Now, the "Normal" kind, is working in normal places (Seven11, super market, foot massage[not sure if this is too normal though])

Now, I really don't care 'bout them, till they start doing it!
It happens more with the "Normal" kind, it starts like this:

I'm hanging in the mall, looking at one of the products for sale, whatever it is...
then the shop keeper, who is a Lady-Boy comes to me:

--Heloo, can I hep yuu?
-Ummm, no thanks, I'm just looking.
--Whaat is yow neem?
-Uhh.. Tomer... (I turn my back and start walking)
--ooow wait weeh ah yuu fom? [oooh, wait! where are you from?]
-Umm... what?! (O_o)
--whee yuu fom?
-Uh... Israel... (turn my back again)
--Maai neem ih Taaaan
-Umm... ok?! (like, what the hell?)

then 'Taaan' starts touching me! eeewww!

--yuu lib in thailaan? [you live in thailand?]
-Uh.. yeah..
--whee?
-Pattaya..... (OMG would she/he stop this already??)

I turn my back and moves to the other side of the shop to look at another mobile phone.

--uuh, dis wan vely gooood! [oh, this one is very good - refering to the phone... I think.]
-yeah.. yeah..

then Taaaan touched my butt and directed me to another model, with his hand on my butt. I wanted this to be over, I wanted to run out to the shop and scream: "eeewwww"
but I'm a nice guy, I wouldn't do that to Taaaaaaan.

Taaaaan, got closer to my face, and said:
--dis wan vely guud alsoooo [this one is very good too]

then he looked me in the eyes and his face got closer to mine.
I started running like crazy! I got outta there as fast as I could, I swear I never ran that fast! My heart was beating and I think I was screaming "eew eww ewewewewew!!!"

I never came back to that mall ever again, and I never will.

Hi guys, My name is Tomer, and currently I am 14.
This is my first blog, so there's nothing in it... Yet. But I can promise you it's going to be interesting.

You see, I'm Israeli, but I live in Thailand - at the age of 14.
Now, I don't just live in Thailand, I live in Pattaya.

Pattaya... How to say it, Is a "special" place, especially when you're 14.
For now, I'll just say that millions of freaks from all around the world come to Pattaya.
Why Pattaya? It has tons of bars and.. ya know...

The interesting stuff will begin soon. it's almost sonkran! And we all know what that means: WATER FIGHT WITH HOOKERS!!! :-D

See you soon,
Tomer.